Showing posts with label SUMMER. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SUMMER. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

One Last Summer Reading List and Book Haul!

Back in Kansas City.... and I have two weeks until I have to be back in Beloit. :/

Therefore I have made myself an "end of summer" reading list; hopefully I'll get through it all?

....Pfft. Yeah, right.



Abarat is something I've been planning on reading for a long time now, since I got the second book in the series years and years ago for Christmas. I finally got the first book a year ago, and I've gotta say - Wow! It has super vivid imagery. I can definitely tell that the author (Clive Barker) is also an artist; his descriptions are lush and perfect and strange. I'll hopefully post my reaction soon!

The two poli-sci books were assigned reading for my International Politics class last year, but since I fell asleep while reading them repeatedly (I am a terrible IR major) I'm going to try to knock them out now before the new school year starts. I think it's really fascinating material that should be helpful to me as an IR major, so the fact that I fell asleep while reading them are eternally frustrating to me.

And as for my recent book haul:



I also went to the used bookstore and found the rest of Douglas Adams's Hitchhiker "trilogyfor less than $2.00 each! I loved the first book in the "trilogy," so naturally I have high hopes for the rest of the series. I also got Hemingway's Boat (because he fascinates me, and I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about him) and Parade's End by Ford Maddox Ford (because I watched the HBO/BBC series this past winter, and was left thinking "wtf?!" and kind of dissatisfied, so I'm hoping that the book will fill in more character development, etc.).

This short period before the end of summer is kind of weird for me because it isn't long enough to do anything substantial (like get a job), but still feels too short (because, hello, summer. School is school, and it always comes too soon and ruins my ~free days~). First world problem? Ugh, idk. I kind of feel awkward using that phrase, since people all over the world in "third world countries" or whatever can have trivial "first world" problems too, and as an IR major the concept of "first/third world countries" is just too... grounded in the Cold War to really be relevant or whatever, and the concept of ranking countries based off of their alignment with the US and USSR is just really biased and stupid. But "developed world problems" just isn't as catchy I guess.

...IR major moment aside...

Is anyone else rushing to finish their fun before summer ends?
-M

Friday, August 9, 2013

End of Summer

Ok, so maybe I'm jumping ship a little early, but tbh it feels like I don't have much more time for summer activities, since after I get back from Beloit I have exactly two weeks until I head up again. Most of that time will be spent visiting family and packing and working out and seeing mah frens and eating awesome food (seriously, Beloit, where is your culture? I know cheese curds are like the default delicacy, but I want something that isn't Applebees. kthanks.)

In memory of summer 2013 (RIP), here are some pretty images to get everyone by into the new (school) year. 

Via.


Via

Ugh Wayne Thiebaud. I love that man almost as much as I love Van Gogh and Klimt (aka: the beautiful talented monster of my heart). But I mean, look at that COLOR. Ugh. As an arteest (well, aspiring, occasionally practicing, etc.), he is someone to seriously look up to. His colors rely on reds and blues and yellows, and when you're painting people (who are made up of more natural colors than black and white) (just take an art class if you don't believe me) it is SO IMPORTANT to remember that. 

Also his paintings of food make me swoon and wish I had an ice cream parlor to run to. (again: come on, Beloit!!)


Via

Via.


Obligatory Bowie. Via. 

I've been on the lookout for Bowie records to own/listen to/hang in my room next year, but alas! I live by no record shops (thanks, Beloot). Obviously that puts a cramp in my non-existent record-buying lifestyle. I try too hard to be hip.   But omg, dat David Bowie sass. Reasons # 34 - 56 why I love that man.


My girl Helga G. Pataki. She knows what summer can feel like. Via.



Currently obsessed with this song. But ugh, so tired of this tiny video player. Why you gotta be like that, Blogspot??


Via

In other news, I'm like really freaking excited because the Nelson-Atkins Museum in KC is hosting an exhibit featuring Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera, and other contemporary Mexican artists, and my grandmother sent me a free pass to go see it. I can't remember if I've seen any of these artists in person before, and if I have I can't remember. I'm going to make a day at the museum, bringing my sketchbook and materials and I plan on sketching/studying everything. I mean, how often does a chance like this come around?? I'm so excited to see the paintings and pieces on exhibit, and will hopefully learn about some new artists. 

I hope y'all are doing well! Any plans for an end-of-summer hurrah?

-M

Friday, July 12, 2013

And the Band Played On, by Randy Shilts

Disclaimer: I think, before this post, it is important that I address my own privilege that comes from being a white, heterosexual, cisgender, female. My privilege has largely shielded me from the AIDS virus, and so this post reflects such experiences.  




During the winter of my senior year of high school, my AP American Government teacher scheduled a film in order to A) create some class discussion about the "fourth branch" of the American government (AKA the bureaucracy) and, B) get some end-of-the-semester grading done. While most of my classmates sat in their seats trying to text discreetly, I was held captive, front and center, by the movie and the awful truths that it revealed. Released by HBO in 1993, And the Band Played On was a teleplay based off of Shilts's book (of the same name, published in 1987) about the early years of the AIDS epidemic. Having read the book, I can point out the movie's flaws and lost information. However, despite its shortcomings, this was a movie that kept me thinking, over and over: "How could this happen?" I think that is a question most often asked in discussing the horrific spread of AIDS in the early years of the epidemic. And the Band Played On not only piqued my interest in the politics of AIDS, but also made me confront the privilege that I hold as a heterosexual.

(Btw, It's on YouTube, if anyone is interested in watching it.)

Before watching And the Band Played On, I was largely unfamiliar with AIDS; my knowledge was limited to Kansas's version of Sex Ed. (which is always, always lacking), and the movie Rent (which I didn't even finish. Thank goodness for North High School for putting it on!). Going into the movie, I "knew" the following facts: 
  1. That AIDS was spread through sex and shared needles
  2. That it was very, very bad
  3. That there was a lot of it in Africa
  4. That when you have sex with someone, you put yourself at the mercy of your partner's sexual history (a tidbit I gleaned through this book)


In comparison to my relative ignorance about AIDS, my mother and her side of the family had much more experience with the disease than I had thought. Not only did my mother's cousin, Craig, die from AIDS shortly before I was born, but many of my grandmother's friends died from the disease. 

Craig was, as the women in my family have described him, a great entertainer. He was an artist, and always found ways to bend the rules in order to make someone laugh. Although my great-grandparents usually shook their heads at his antics (such as building a race car ramp that launched the toy cars up into the air), I could tell that they really did love him. I have never asked what they thought about his sexuality, however; I can't bring myself to ask them that, for the fear that they will react poorly. 

However, Craig was also described as being "troubled"; he spent long stretches of time out of touch with his family because he was on the streets without a place to live. He was young, gay, and totally at risk - the "perfect target," as my grandmother described him.

I didn't know Craig, and I'm sorry for it; probably sorrier for not knowing him than almost anyone else in my family. My grandmother and great-grandmother have mentioned how similar to him I am, and because of my artistic inclination, I wish that I had someone to look up to in that way. His mother, my great-aunt, has offered to let me look through documents from her days as a volunteer in Texas hospitals for gay groups. As interested as I am in those documents, I have not had the opportunity to look through them yet. I don't know why my interest in Craig is so… constant. Is it because he is the only one of my family members to be gay? Is it because he was an artist? Or is it just because of the way that he died? It isn't fair for me to pile all of these expectations on him, but I do think that this is a large part of my family history that continues to affect my mom's side to this day. 

My mom and grandmother are also familiar with the death and devastation that AIDS wrought on the gay community because of their personal ties: for my mom, it was her business school friends; for my grandmother, it was her lawyer friends. My grandmother has many gay friends that she has met through the law community in my city. They do not talk a lot about AIDS when I ask them about it; they mostly say that it was a tragedy how so many of them died. These sentiments, I know, are not unique. 

I felt like you guys could use a picture. Any picture. Via. 


With my interest in AIDS and its effects on the gay community piqued by the film, my chance came to further explore the topic in the final paper for my current events class. The paper had to be an academic review about a book that discusses an issue that took place after 1945; after spending so many years in high school writing about Catherine the Great, I wanted to write about something a little bit more current; Randy Shilts's And the Band Played On was the obvious choice. The copy I managed to hunt down in Barnes & Noble was the only copy in the entire store, in a section titled "Social Sciences" - the one area probably perused less than "Local" and "Travel." (The fact that there was one book in a tiny corner of an obscure shelf only illustrates to me Shilts's idea of how AIDS was so expertly mishandled.) It was also just over 600 pages. Thankfully, we only had to read a minimum of 150 pages; I barely managed to finish that small chunk of reading in time before spitting out a paper that, in retrospect, needed so much more information. 

Then I put it on my shelf and looked at it, guiltily, for over a year until I got sick of the guilt and pulled it off of the shelf my second week of summer vacation. As I got my summer reading list together and prepped to leave for Wisconsin, I decided to bring it so that I would finally be able to finish it. I mentioned in an earlier post about wanting to read things that made me think critically about the state of things, and I figured that this book - Shilts's thorough and intricate examination of early AIDS politics - would be perfect for such a task.  

In my opinion, And the Band Played On is nothing short of a masterpiece for Randy Shilts. He considers every side to the story, interviewing those involved, their friends, and everyone else in between. The narrative that he weaves is dense, packed with AIDSpeak, political and scientific jargon, and the horrific clash of it all. Leaders of all sides were consulted (except maybe Jerry Falwell), interviewed, and represented in the book. He examines the gay community and its response to AIDS, and notes how it was as divided as every other group. 

Shilts examines the bureaucratic red tape that kept the Center for Disease Control, the National Institutes of Health, the National Cancer Institute, and the Food and Drug Administration (just to name a few) from doing their jobs. Actually, that sounds misleading; he discusses the people and administrations who used the red tape to their advantage to almost derail scientific inquiry. He maps the twisted politics and science of the time, establishing the fact that no one was innocent during the AIDS outbreak; doctors, cut short of making scientific discoveries and breakthroughs thanks to funding troubles, also refused to collaborate on issues so as to lose any sort of credibility or recognition in the field. Many bureaucrats wished to maintain the Reagan Administration's stance of lowering domestic spending, knowing that their divisions could be hurt if they spoke out; however, some institutes (like the American Red Cross and the FDA) felt that they were being disrespected because other institutes were infringing on their turf. 

Shilts also mentions how Haitians and drug addicts - other people who were infected earlier in the epidemic - were considered to be relatively unimportant compared to the people who had the power to create policies that would help slow, if not stop, the spread of AIDS. He also discusses how, when hemophiliacs "finally"got AIDS, the interest picked up slightly... while all efforts at screening blood were shut down and hemophiliacs, too, were allowed to die. 

Again, please excuse the word vomit. Via


As for the gay community, initial feelings towards how to handle the disease differed by coast with the East Coast (aka New York City) being more conservative in its approach whereas the West Coast/California led the country in research, spending, and attempts at prevention. Shilts also mentions how many political activists, such as Bill Kraus and Cleve Jones, were surprised as to how quickly a community that had been united by Harvey Milk years before was torn apart. Shilts also largely dismisses the media, and recalls how many news editors did not care to have a "homosexual issue" visible in their papers (often leaving AIDS out at all), as well as reporters who seem to have failed at seeking the truth and not chasing leads and leaving evidence that revealed just how… uninvolved the Reagan Administration (as well as many other Capital Hill groups) was with the disease. Because they were not challenged in their ways, an atmosphere developed where the status quo allowed matters to utterly deteriorate. 

The AIDS virus, Shilts states, flourished under these circumstances. 

I cried and I raged while I read this book. Nothing, it seemed, ever seemed to go right. The dark tunnel - an image often recalled by victims and doctors and politicians - never seemed to end. And it made me think. It made me question the system that I live in ("under???") and how I benefit from the fact that I am heterosexual (and white).

I'm not comfortable with thinking how this would come about, but the fact of the matter is that media hype = research money, but media hype only exists if someone who "matters" comes down with the disease. Shilts mentions this by citing the statistic that in 1985 San Francisco, gay men made up over 97% of all AIDS cases, but the ones that kept bringing back journalists and politicians were the white heterosexual men who contracted the disease. The fear of heterosexual transmission was almost laughable, in Shilts's view; while prostitutes did have the ability to spread AIDS, straight men (in America, at least) usually contracted the disease through shared needles.

Despite the fact that I was born "after" AIDS, I do not think that the life I could have led before the disease (before 1980) would be much different from the one I am living now; I am a member of the dominant racial and cultural group in America. My civil rights and sexual freedom was not under fire as a result of the AIDS virus; my community did not have to undergo a serious, almost soul-searching period in order to adapt to the death and disease. Because of where I live and who I am, AIDS is, to me, mostly regulated to discussions of Africa. This is by no means "right," or "unfair," but in reading this book I discovered that, while gay people have won many victories in America, there are still things that remain the same. It is up to me to use the privilege I have to bring attention to these causes.

Here are some statistics*:

  • More than one million people in America are living with HIV.
  • 33.4 million people live with HIV/AIDS worldwide. 
  • 1 in 5 (20%) of people living with HIV do not know that they are infected.
  • Every 9.5 minutes, someone in the US is infected with HIV. 
  • Individuals who contracted HIV through heterosexual contact make up about 28% of all HIV infections.
  • In 2008, African Americans made up approximately 46% of people living with HIV. 
  • 97% of worldwide HIV/AIDS cases live in low-and-middle-income countries - especially sub-Saharan Africa. 


Randy Shilts died in 1994 from AIDS. While writing And the Band Played On, he decided to refrain from testing himself for the virus in order to maintain a neutral stance on the events. After being diagnosed HIV +, he said to the New York Times, "HIV is certainly character-building… It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity… Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character."

Like many before them, Randy Shilts and Craig succumbed to a disease that could have been stopped sooner; that could have been prevented from spreading as it did; that killed so many people who didn't have to die. This book lives on in the memory of those who died from AIDS, and begs that such atrocity be kept from happening again. 

Randy Shilts. Via. 

If you are also interested in the early years of AIDS, I have two main recommendations: How to Survive a Plague (2012) and We Were Here (2011). 

 
                                            Via.                                                                                                         Via.


Both movies should still be available on Netflix. How to Survive focused on Larry Kramer's AIDS activist group ACT UP; ACT UP's achievement, disputes, and eventual rifts. It also discusses the impact that ACT UP had on AIDS medical research. We Were Here was more focused on the effect that AIDS had on the San Francisco's gay community - the response, the death, everything. Neither movie is easy to watch, but are very necessary to understanding the effects of AIDS more.

If you have any recommendations, please leave a comment below! Or if you have any thoughts on And the Band Played On (or anything else I had to say in this post), please speak up! I would love to hear your thoughts. 

-M

P.S.: Here is a 60 Minutes feature on "Patient Zero"; Randy Shilts is in it and so is a lot of great stuff that's in the book is discussed.

*This is the resource I used for such statistics. Credit to aids.gov.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Moving at the Speed of Sound

Just a quick update today. Because I've been "entertaining" this entire past week (and now that they're gone and I should theoretically have some time to myself), I leave TOMORROW for school/camp/whatever (and I need to PACK like a mofo).

I've been trying to read, but between watching lots and lots of the X Files and lots and lots of Saturday Night Live (circa 1993), I haven't devoted much time to it. So, here's a general update to what I've been reading lately:



I have a post or two in the works, so I'll hopefully have them up some time next week.

HAGS,
Maddie

Friday, May 10, 2013

TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE

(like does he have a car?)

Today was my first full day back home, and I am so glad that it is finally summer vacation! While I am sad to be away from my school friends, I am kind of glad to have some time to myself for a change!  Well, kind of; I have about another month home until I go BACK to school for a language program. Once that's over, I have two more weeks here until the Fall semester starts. This summer will probably fly by!

While I do LOVE lazy summer days, at the same time I'm the kind of person who always feels like she needs to be doing something (whether it's watch documentaries on Netflix or look up style blogs or read actual books). This year, since the language program kind of wipes out the chance to really have a full-time job, I'll be part-timing, working odd jobs until I have to leave. (This sounds more impressive than it really is; I'll be babysitting and doing some computer work. There.)

I started off my first day unpacking a bit (although I certainly have a ways to go!), and while I was planning on dropping off some old books at the library sometime this week, I got a notice last night (technically yesterday morning; my packing didn't allow me much internet time) AND this morning from the library that my books were on hold and ready! I was surprised, and a little excited, since I hadn't been expecting them for a while (I don't know why not. Probably because it seemed like it would be forever until I would be done with finals...?).

So (without dropping the to-be-donated books off) I went to the library to pick up my holds! ...And three others.






(I also picked up Breaking Up, by Aimee Friedman and Christine Norrie, but I couldn't find a good enough picture. :/)

Despite the pile of books that I've already need to finish, I read Fun Home and started Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? today. 

Both were/are absolutely excellent. 

They're both memoirs, but are done very differently. Bechdel's Fun Home is a graphic novel, whereas Kaling's Everyone is more traditional (although she does utilize old pictures well); Fun Home is also more introspective, and reads like a drama/tragedy, with lots of mentions of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ulysses, and the like. There are also a lot of gay/lesbian/queer authors tossed in as well (I am not as familiar with them, although claiming that I am familiar with Ulysses is pretty close to a bold-faced lie), although they did not receive as much comparison with the author and, the subject of the book, Bechdel's father.

Fun Home was a great read, and very engrossing; however, I had to be sure to read carefully so I wouldn't miss anything. More than once I had to look up a word to be sure that I was getting the full meaning. To those who claim that graphic novels/comics can't be serious: read this book. It is "serious,"filled with analysis, both sexual, historical, and psychological. I'm probably going to reread this a few more times.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? Is also a really fun read so far. It isn't as "introspective" as I said Fun Home was, but that's because being serious and deep wasn't totally the point of Kaling's book. (Although maybe it was, and I just hurt her feelings) But she is a writer, and a comedic one at that; she knows what she's doing, she's just doing it in a different way from Bechdel. I'm really liking Everyone so far, and actually laughing out loud at parts (which hasn't happened with me and... anything in a while). Mindy Kaling has a fun "voice" as a writer, and I can see how it translates to her TV show, The Mindy Project, so well. I also relate to her, since she talks about being a wallflower in high school, working hard, being respectful of adults and generally never getting into trouble. Ever. She chalks this up to being the daughter of immigrant parents; I figure that I would do quite well with immigrant parents. (Or at least her parents) 

I'll probably be going to the library again this week, because tonight I requested Are You My Mother, by Alison Bechdel. It's about her relationship with her mother and, from the few pages I've read, it starts with her in the beginning stages of writing/drawing Fun Home and deciding that it would be impossible to ignore her mother. I'm really excited to get it, and (stupidly) I'm excited that my public library system has such things. I always seem to forget to utilize the library, so I'm glad that I'm able to access these new books that I've been wanting to read (but have been loathe to spend money on). 

Hopefully I can finish these books in time! Have you read any of these books before? What did you think?

Cheers,
-M