On Trying to Speak Up

I feel like I censor myself a lot, especially my opinions and political beliefs because I am absolute crap at fights (I'm one of those people who will come up with amazing comebacks 10 minutes too late, woe is me) and because I am always worried that I have the wrong data/information/whatever. While I find it really easy to pick apart stupid opinions on, say Tumblr (then again, most of the inflammatory arguments on Tumblr aren't very intelligent or well-written) I feel like I have trouble actively taking part in them. I'm better at confrontational behavior in person if it doesn't include a debate.

OK, that seems really confusing, so let me explain: If it's a debate, like US action in Syria, or gun control, I'm crap. I have my opinions (and I voice them to my friends quite frequently), but my fear of being made a fool of in debates usually causes me to turn the other cheek and write rebuttals in my heads.

But if it isn't a debate, if it's just stupidity or something I deeply reject on all levels (pro-life v. pro-choice, feminism, idiotic MRA "activists,"etc.) then I'm ok calling people out on their shit. I guess it's because I feel more comfortable talking about those things since I know more? Or maybe because I'm vested in them more? Since I am an IR major, I kind of have to have an opinion on Syria and other conflicts - and I do, but I guess I feel like I don't understand as much as I should/ I don't feel in absolutes like for feminism and stuff.

Monday I came across a post on Tumblr. Long story short - a white girl wore a headscarf to the mall, and wrote about the prejudice and racism she experienced. She wrote a long long post how hard it was to imagine anyone living their whole life with that kind of hatred directed at them and how people should just be nice to each other, yadda yadda yadda. Some Muslim women called her out on her privileged perspective, saying that they didn't need her white savior attitude.

(Naturally, Tumblr came to that white girl's rescue.)

What followed was typical; people berating those women, telling them to get off of their high horses, that the girl who made the original post was trying to help and had pure intentions, and why can't you just understand that this white person is being nice to you and trying to help your cause? Like, omg! Stop being so prejudiced towards white people! Your attitude makes it really hard for white people to understand your problems.

My response was as follows:

OK kids, here’s the thing.  

When someone - ANYONE - from a minority says something to you about the discrimination that they face, and that you don’t understand, that isn’t your cue to start yelling about how it isn’t “okay” to be prejudiced against white people. 

It is is your cue to SHUT UP AND LISTEN. 

This is not about you. This is about them. 

Because when you whine about how white people are yelled at for just trying to understand, you don’t get it. You are still exercising your white privilege.  

Because guess what? You’re still the top of the chain, as far as society goes. This is not about “wording.” This is not about how hard white people have it in speaking out against general prejudice. This is about understanding the fact that you will not nor will you ever understand the kind of discrimination that Muslim women face because of their choice to wear a headscarf. This is about someone saying, “Yeah, thanks, but did you think that we weren’t aware that we face huge amounts of prejudice every day? Do you think that we really needed a white/non-Musilm woman to be our champion?” 

White people have shown a tremendous capacity and ability to insert their opinion when it isn’t needed, and assert their rights and freedoms over everyone else’s. You can thank your white privilege for those feelings that your voice deserves to be heard. 

White/non-Muslim people don’t need to be the voice of Muslim women. White/non-Muslim people have zero authority to speak on. And so when someone calls you out on your lack of experience/whatever, what you do is SIT DOWN and SHUT UP.

I'm sure that there are more than a few gaps in my logic there; and as someone who is white/straight/cis, I did feel a little uneasy calling those people out since I do have a lot or privilege in society, and didn't want to take on the same "white savior" attitude, y'know? But hopefully I can use that privilege when calling people out on their shit and become a more effective ally. (Just, not like an "ally week" ally. JFC that whole concept is so goddamn stupid.)

Since I don't have a lot of followers, I seriously doubt many people saw it, and I also seriously doubt that many people cared. Still, I was really nervous about posting this; hopefully if someone does see it, it can create a dialogue.

What do you think? Have I missed the point? The post (and response) is here.

-M