MWF Seeking BFF, by Rachel Bertsche

Genre: Memoir, Self-Help

Rating: ★★★
Pages: 349

Published: 2011

Publisher: Ballantine Books

It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your best friend is? 

Rachel Bertsche is a young, newly-married woman who is new to Chicago. While she loves her work, her husband, her adopted city, and Entertainment Weekly, she finds that her life is missing something rather important: friends. It isn't that she's totally friendless — stories of past friendships quickly inform the reader that Bertsche left a fairly rich social life behind in New York — but she is doesn't have a BFF in her new city. You know, the kind of BFF who she can call last minute for a pedicure, to go out to brunch with, talk about reality TV with...you get the picture. Deciding that she Can't Go On with the way things are, Bertsche decides to take matters into her own hands and issues herself a challenge: she will go on 52 new friend dates for the next year. Over the course of the year, she goes on blind dates, takes improv classes, and makes the rounds on the book club circuit. In doing so, Bertsche hopes that she will meet her next Best Friend Forever.  

I can't remember how MWF Seeking BFF crossed my path, but since moving to Virginia, I feel like I can definitely identify where Bertsche is coming from. Finally, following one lonely weekend, I felt vulnerable enough to click the "add to cart" button on Amazon and eagerly awaited for Bertsche's book to help me out of my slump.

While there were parts of MWF that I could have done without (talking about her honeymoon, interactions with strangers who she doesn't go on a friend date with, talking about how much she misses her father* — basically events that I didn't think had much to do with her challenge), I really liked the first third of the book, which is where Bertsche really delves into the psychology and sociology of friendship. One concept that I found especially interesting from her research is Dunbar's number, which (according to Wikipedia) is a "suggested cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships."**

Bertsche used the number to calculate where she stood friend-wise and found that she was short of the "stable" friendship types illustrated below. (She says that she was 20 people shy of hitting Dunbar's 150) While calculating the number of individuals I would include in my Dunbar's total seems to be a little tedious (and suspicious, I'll admit), I did find the concept that our brains can only handle so many certain kinds of relationship to be interesting. 

A visual representation of Dunbar's number. Dunbar calculated the human threshold of relationships to be 150. Via.

MWF is technically a self-help book (in that it's marketed as such), but I didn't think that it really compared to other self-help books I've encountered (namely: Jen Sincero's You Are a Badass and Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up). While MWF did chart the journey of one woman to improve her life, its tone was more aligned with a memoir-sociological-psychological hybrid. Bertsche wasn't telling me what to do so much as she was explaining the quest she went on to (and the various methods she used) find a new BFF.

I don't think that MWF is for everyone; while its core lesson is ~basically~ "you can never have too many friends," Bertsche is a pretty specific personality to get used to while writing, and I know that there were times I found her voice to be annoying and self-congratulatory. I also found myself slogging through the last third of the book due to what seemed like a lack of plot development. (I can only read about friendship membership services for so long.) And, hello, there is a ton of name-dropping in this book (At least 52 of them, in fact)! MWF is an easy read, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's consistently fun or light.

I think that MWF works as a good companion for anyone undertaking their own "friendship challenge," but it shouldn't necessarily be used as a bible or manual in the friend-making process. Important social lessons can be learned from Bertsche — follow up on emails, don't be upset if someone doesn't "click" with you right away, body language matters, etc. — but I would be skeptical of anyone following her plan to the letter. I think MWF will be useful to me as I work on expanding my social circle in the DMV, and it has encouraged me to consider the ways in which I reach out to people around me. However, I can't see myself ever re-reading this book or suggesting it to anyone unless they have a prior, specific interest either in it or in making new friends. 

* In regards to the dad feels, I've been there, done that, gotten the crappy T-Shirt. I feel for her. But I felt that her attempts to tie in her father's death to her friendship quest were pretty weak.
** Apparently Dunbar himself described it as "the number of people you would not feel embarrassed about joining uninvited for a drink if you happened to bump into them at a bar." (My man!)

The Royal We, by Heather Cocks & Jessica Morgan

Genre: Fiction, Romance

Rating: ★★★★★
Pages: 496

Published: 2016

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing

When was the last time that you fell in love with a book? Like head-over-heels love. The kind of love where you know its faults but still think the sun shines from every page? The kind of love where you just. can't. get. enough. of it and want to spend every waking moment either reading and re-reading it or telling people about it? The kind of love I'm talking about is different from your regular "I-love-this-book-you-should-read-it." No, the kind of love I'm talking about is basically equal to puppy love. You are absolutely crazy about this book, and while no one can quite figure out why you feel so strongly for this book, your feelings for this book are just so pure and whatever, Mom, This Book and I are going to be together forever. 

It's been a while since I've fallen for a book (or at least documented it on here), but OMG. Let me spill my feelings to you lovely readers, Bridget Jones-style, about The Royal We.

The premise of The Royal We is basically Prince William and Kate Middleton fanfic (or RPF). Our heroine, Rebecca ("Bex") Porter is an American student who opts for a year abroad at Oxford in inject a little more adventure into her life. When she gets there, she finds herself living across the hall from Prince Nicolas Lyons, second in line to the British throne and a secret insomniac. Being an insomniac is not the only one of Nick's secrets, and as Bex is inducted into Nick's friend group and life at Oxford, she finds herself befriending and accidentally falling in love with the young prince.  

Which, hello, awesome! Except, as Bex is told, Nick "Will never. Marry. An American." Also, Nick has a lot of family baggage, is surrounded by the always-hysterical tabloids, and is terrified of Bex getting hurt by "the Company." Opening on the eve of their wedding (#nospoilers), Bex reflects on the state of her and Nick's relationship, as well as the sacrifices that she has had to make for true love and wonders if it will be enough. 

Now that that background is out of the way....

(I like this book so much I am using Supernatural GIFs. Whatever, don't judge me.)

GUYS. GUUUUUUUUYS. I LIKED THIS BOOK SO MUCH. I wanted to swALLOW IT WHOLE sometimes. I wanted to both adopt and be adopted by Nick and Bex. I wanted to hang out with them and their awesome friend group! Oh my god, y'all, I started and read this book in about two days because I just couldn't stop. If I had to pick a favorite character it would probably be Gaz (also tagged as: "always crying"), but I honestly also loved Nick and Bex.* This book had me cracking up all the damn time (I also shed some tears). And the fluff/romance between Nick and Bex?.....

Above: Actual footage of me reading this book.

.......Sickeningly sweet but also I was cheering for them the whole time.

So, yeah, y'all should totally read The Royal We. I know it's RPF, and I know that it's super fluffy (and is sometimes annoying in that Bex has all of these anecdotes about her relationship with Nick but we never see when these things could have happened or hear them mentioned again), but this book is — as the Internet Youths say — "A beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure." 

The Royal We is one of the books that picked me up during the post-Election slump, so I recommend it on the basis that it can be the little fluffy pick-me-up that you might need if you're having a hard time. 

The Royal We: Come for the RPF, linger for the romance, stay for the hilarious ensemble cast and the #feels. 

*ESPECIALLY NIGHT NICK AND NIGHT BEX.

A (Belated) Look at 2016

I don't think that I'd be out of line for saying that 2016 was a pretty crazy year. A lot of weird/terrible  happened around the world (which I'm not going to even try to summarize), and a lot of strange/awesome/exhilarating things happened to me personally; I wrote my senior thesis, graduated from college, moved to a new city and state (and coast!), got a job, and experienced a slew of emotional highs and lows in between.

I didn't do a reading review of 2015 (whomp, whomp), but it's been strangely satisfying reading my post from 2014 and seeing how far I've come since then. Although my presence on here has been pretty restricted as of late (I didn't post from April 2015 to November 2016), it's still been nice to see where I've been and compare it to where I thought I was going at the time.

That said, this is """supposed""" to be a book blog, so let's swerve away from that emotional introspection and get down to the nitty gritty: what was my 2016 like in books?

Woof. Tiny bookcovers stolen from my Goodreads shelf.

2016 was my most productive year of reading yet! (Or at least, since I started tracking my reading through Goodreads.) I read a grand total of 33 books — including 15 audiobooks and three digital books — and I'd like to think that this was a pretty diverse year? Or at least, more diverse than usual. I read two sci-fi (I usually don't bother with that genre), one book of poetry (which I almost never read), a nonfiction book about dinosaurs, a travelogue, and a book written by a Korean author (a country I don't think I've ever read any fiction about).  

2016 was definitely the year of the audiobook for me. I joined Audible in January and got The Martian for the drive up to school. I didn't think I'd like the audiobook experience very much, so the game plan was to take advantage of the free trial that came with my Prime account and get rid of it soon after. SILLY ME. I finished The Martian before I even left for school and swiftly purchased Agatha Christie's The ABC Murders to tide me on the 8 hour drive. (Spoiler: it was the perfect length. 10/10 would recommend Agatha for long car rides around the Midwest.)

My favorite books of 2016 (in no particular order) were Peril at End House, The Secret Adversary, The Truth, Evil Under the Sun, Cards on the Table, The Underground Railroad, The Royal We, and Milk and Honey. (Sorry there aren't any reviews to link — for some reason I never write about my favorite books.) In any case, y'all should totally read these books. They kept my attention, had me reading through my lunch break, shocked and surprised me, made me laugh and cry, and left me wanting more. 

Now, on to 2017!

1. I have a couple reading goals this year:
2. To read 35 books by January 1, 2018;
3. To SUCCESSFULLY read and discuss at least one book (bookclub style) with Kiernyn;
4. To read at least five nonfiction books;
5. To read more often on the train/bus; and
6. To be better at writing blog posts/book reviews.

So, there are my 2017 reading "resolutions" / ~intentions~ . Do you have any goals for 2017? Did any book from 2016 stick out to you in particular? Are there any books you plan on reading in 2017 that reflect whatever personal philosophy you intend to follow? Let me know in the comments. And as always, I'm taking recommendations. 

Happy 2017, dudes. Two years ago I ended a similar post with a picture of David Bowie. Today, on the first anniversary of his death, I'd like to do the same thing. 

I Want a Tattoo of the Skyline Chili Logo, or: Eligible, by Curtis Sittenfeld

Genre: Fiction

Rating: ★★★★

Pages: 512

Published: 2016

Publisher: Random House

Like many Americans, I felt that I needed a little pick-me-up following Election Day this year. Alcohol didn't do me much good, break-up songs hit waaaay too close to home, and the platter of calamari I stress-ate Election Night was not sitting well with me. 

So I did what any decent, red-blooded American capitalist does with emotional (and calamari-induced) pain — I dealt with my feelings by shopping. 

Fifteen minutes and several enticing promises by Amazon Prime later, Curtis Sittenfeld's Eligible was purchased and en route to my house. The fact that it was there before I got home was the surprisingly delicious icing on the dumpster fire cake that has so far been 2016. 

I've been meaning to read Eligible for a while, but I didn't get serious about it until I read Sittenfeld's essay on The New Yorker, titled "My Friend Sam." Something about Sittenfeld's writing style reminded me of one of my good friends, Kiernyn, to the point where I decided that I just had to get my greedy little hamster hands on this book. 

Eligible is one of six novels the Austen project (link), which seeks to pair Jane Austen's six novels with a contemporary (and critically-acclaimed) author in order to prove the timelessness of Jane Austen's stories. While several of the novels have so far received mixed reviews (Sense and Sensibility, Emma, and Northanger Abbey), Sittenfeld's Pride and Prejudice contribution was highly anticipated due to the blockbuster status of Pride and Prejudice within the literary world and Austen fandom. This New York Times article is a pretty solid interview with Sittenfeld about the project and about how she feels taking up the Pride and Prejudice mantle, so I'd recommend y'all reading it if you have a free minute (or 10).

*swats away background and baggage* K, let's get to the review.

Liz is a magazine writer in her late thirties who, like her older sister Jane (a yoga instructor) lives in New York City. When their father suffers a heart attack, the two women fly home to help around the house as their father recovers. Liz, usually the most perceptive Bennet of the bunch, is shocked at the state of things: their home is run down, their family's finances are perilous, their mother has an online shopping addiction, and her younger sisters — left to their own devices — are running amok. 

Liz and Jane's return to Cincinnati is also marked by the appearance of Chip Bingley, a young doctor fresh from a wildly successful (and infamous) run on a reality television show (not-so-coincidentally named Eligible). Mrs. Bennet (always the meddler) decides that Chip Bingley is destined to marry Jane who, nearly forty, is practically a spinster (my heavens). Of course, as Jane and Bingley hit it off and their relationship heats up, Liz comes into contact with Chip's good friend, the ever-obnoxious and ever-handsome Darcy. And from there, as the reader and Liz learn, is how misleading first impressions can be.

The New York Time's Sarah Lyall says in this review of Eligible that Sittenfeld's decision to set the novel in the United States "let[s] the air in," in regards to interpreting Austen's classic story and characters, and I totally agree. As opposed to setting a modern-day retelling of P&P in England, I think that moving the Bennets to Cincinnati highlights the universality of these characters, their problems, and their faults.* 

I loved Sittenfeld setting the novel in Cincinnati for a couple of reasons. First of all, as a Midwestern transplant, I always like to see a little more Midwestern love in the literary world.** Second, the Cincinnati setting is prefaced by a Mark Twain quote: 

"When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati because it's always twenty years behind the times."

Via.

This quote establishes Cincinnati as the stand-in for the backwater town Meryton where the wealthy Bingleys and Darcy find themselves. Darcy's discomfort with Cincinnati is what initially pits him against Elizabeth, as Liz overhears him talking about grading Cincinnati/Midwestern women "on a curve." Naturally, Liz is insulted, and uses this as the springboard for her dislike/hatred. This chip-on-the-shoulder attitude is familiar, I think, to Midwestern transplants who frequently feel that they have to defend their cities, towns, states, etc., on a regular basis. If nothing else, Sittenfeld's nearly anthropological statements about the Midwestern state of mind (she makes an especially salient point about what it means to ask someone where they went to high school) got me on her (and Liz's) side as the reader. 

Like with the setting, Sittenfeld makes other ~~artistic choices~~ which modernize certain plot elements. Such as: the Bennet sisters being aged up (because not a lot of people consider themselves spinsters at 20 these days); the Meryton ball where Darcy and Elizabeth meet becoming a July 4th barbecue; and the infamous George Wickham being split into two characters, Jasper Wick (who has considerable baggage left over from his time at Stanford and has been leading Liz on for more than a decade by the start of the book) and Ham (the owner of a CrossFit gym who becomes Lydia's boyfriend). 

I really liked Eligible. Even though it clocked in at over 180 chapters (!) and over 500 pages, I found that time flew by as I read it. Some of the shorter chapters made the actions a little choppy, or didn't contribute much to the overall plot (although they did arguably reveal bits about the characters), and some of the Cincinnati references were frustrating because they went over my head  (like, "they ran to this neighborhood, and then this one, and then went to this famous Cincinnati restaurant for lunch"). But overall, I think that Sittenfeld did a really, really good job at bringing the Bennets (& Co.) into the modern era while being true to the spirit of the book. It didn't feel forced — the characters' interactions felt natural and true to form, even if there was 100% more CrossFit in this book than the original. 

(Bottom line: You should read this book.)

You've probably seen this one before. Image (c) Kate Beaton, Hark! A Vagrant

*The Lizzie Bennet Diaries does a really good job with this setting as well. Link here. And if Emma is more your speed, here is Hank Green and Bernie Su's second foray into Austenland with Emma Approved. (It took a while for EA to hook me, but once it did, boy was I in.)

** s/o to my short-lived Midwest Monday series.

Where the Hell I've Been

Me, back from the frozen depths of undergrad. Via.

I'll be the first one to admit that this is a bit of a ~vanity post~ since literally no one follows me and cares where I've been or what I've been doing in the year or so it's been since I've updated this here blog. But I figured a little bit of an icebreaker post might be a good way to get back into the arrhythmic world of book blogging. (RIP my book Tumblr)

So, what have I been up to?

1. Graduating! (shout out to the honors thesis that consumed my life like TB)
2. Trying to find a job (unsuccessfully)
3. Moving to Virginia
4. Finding a job!
5. Trying to learn immigration law (aka, my job)

OK, yes, it's nothing glamorous, but now for the first time ever I'm not in school and can read uninterrupted by homework. And, since graduating, I've read 18 books! Which has been terribly exciting and also gives me hope that I'll get through the mammoth pile I carted to Virginia in...three years? So, not to worry - I've got more than enough material for This Here Blog. 

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, peaches - keep your heads up through any family drama y'all might have.

Like Water for Chocolate, by Laura Esquivel

Genre: Fiction, Romance

Rating: ★★★

Pages: 222

Published: 1989/1993

Publisher: Black Swan

I picked up Like Water for Chocolate at a fantastic English-language bookstore in Sofia called the Elephant Bookstore. It was recommended by one of the girls in my group, so I decided to get it in order to counteract all of the Yugoslavia nonfiction I had with me. 

Like Water for Chocolate is about a young woman, Tita, living in revolutionary Mexico. Tita, as the youngest daughter of the De La Garza family, has her fate decided for her: she is forbidden to marry by family tradition, and must instead care for her mother until she dies. When Pedro, Tita's sweetheart, asks for her hand, he is swiftly rebuffed by Tita's mother and redirected towards her sister, Rosaura. Pedro agrees to marry Rosaura, if only because that will allow him to remain by Tita's side. Over the course of the next 22 years, the two circle each other in "unconsummated passion" (according to the back description) that inspires passion in the lives of those around them. Each chapter also begins with the name of a dish and the ingredients for said dish. During the following chapter, the food is somehow woven into the narrative. 

Like Water for Chocolate reads like a folktale, and so there are some extreme exaggerations regarding activity and imagery (ex: losing 65 pounds in a week, having a blanket that covers an entire ranch, etc.). Because this was my first "magical realism" book (and magical realism utilizes hyperbole and mythology), it was definitely something I had to get used to — I took a few hyperboles quite literally and was left going "what?" a few times in the beginning of the novel. 

Continuing on the "magical narrative" trend, the food that Tita cooks assumes a large role in conveying Tita's emotions to others and influencing events in the book. While Tita doesn't often show her true emotions to others (such as anger, lust), other characters pick up on her feelings through her cooking, although their sudden emotional outbursts confuse them. 

I think I was more into the first half of the book, but lost steam afterwards. I guess I just had a harder time sympathizing with Pedro and Tito? I didn't really care for Pedro, and thought that Tita could have done better than him. Like Water was also a little unusual in that the tone would go from being very clinical and detached to being super technical and "whatever" about sex and lust. The book was described as containing "unbridled passion," and I guess my takeaway is that I don't really go for that. (One review on the inside described the ideal reader as one who likes their wine "full-bodied" and their food "zesty." I don't really fall into either category.)

I ended up finishing this book faster than I thought I would; it's very accessible, and — due to its monthly format — felt unimposing and gave me a good sense of how far along I was in the story. While it is somewhat unfortunate that the romance plot fell a little flat for me, there were other comedic parts of the book that I really liked, and one character in particular — Gertrudis — that was by far my favorite. I recommend it to anyone who likes cooking or is interesting in magical realism novels.

(Oh, yes — and """passion""")

Safe Area Gorazde, by Joe Sacco

My cover looked cooler, but this is the best image I could find.

Genre: Graphic Novel, Memoir

Rating: ★★★★

Pages: 229

Published: 2007

Publisher: Jonathan Cape

This rating has a trigger warning for blood/gore imagery, war mentions, and the like.

Hello again, peaches! I'd apologize for the radio silence, but I'm really not that sorry about it. Study abroad has been pretty neat so far, and this past month I spent my Spring Break on (as one guy in my group put it) a "tour of the Ottoman Empire." 6 countries (Serbia, Bosnia, Croatia, Montenegro, Bulgaria, Turkey) in 10 days. My takeaway? The Balkans are beautiful and awesome and I wanna go back like nothing else. (As my friend, E., "I could make a life here!")

Because I'm me, and I was surrounded by enabling poli-sci majors, I found time during my trip to go to a few bookstores and picked up some """relevant reading.""" (Book haul post to come later. If I remember.) One of the books I got in Bosnia was Safe Area Gorazde ("Gorazde" pronounced like "gor-AJ-da"). I picked it up after visiting the Gallery 11/07/95, which is a permanent gallery about the Srebrenica massacre (or genocide, depending on who you're talking to). 

Real talk: the Gallery is super depressing and kind of awful, but in a good way? It was very informative and powerful, and definitely impacted my stay in Sarajevo. It was kind of surreal walking around the Balkans and examining the scars that the war left on both buildings and people. 

Building in Belgrade, Serbia.

Inside the Gallery

 

  

The building next to my hostel in Sarajevo.

(But this review is about Joe Sacco's time in Bosnia, not mine.)

Safe Area Gorazde details the time that journalist Joe Sacco spent in Gorazde, Bosnia, from 1994-1995. The book's material is largely based off of his interviews with Bosnian Muslims in the Muslim "enclave" of Gorazde, but also includes historical information and Sacco's opinion on the war. Safe Area Gorazde is meant as a memoir, but delivers Sacco's own brand of self-reflection and political observations. 

I was kinda familiar with Sacco's art before reading Safe Area Gorazde, and had some prior knowledge about the Balkan War. Gorazde was mentioned briefly in the Srebrenica exhibit as a UN Safe Area, but wasn't really elaborated on. My interest was piqued, then, when I saw Sacco's book in Sarajevo (it was one of the titles consistently available in English throughout the city) and I decided to purchase it. I didn't recall seeing Sacco's work in many stores previously, so I thought it would be a worthwhile buy. 

I enjoyed reading Safe Area Gorazde for its writing and art, and was appreciative of how Sacco established the book as his personal narrative during a portion of the conflict, as opposed to a definitive telling of the entire war. Sacco wrote about the privilege he enjoyed during the war (such as being able to travel relatively freely whereas people from Gorazde were stuck in the city). National privilege is an uncomfortable thing to admit when traveling, and I sometimes think that some writers, despite operating outside of the host society as foreigners, tend to over-identify with their subjects to the point where they believe they face the same challenges and restrictions as them.

Page from Safe Area Gorazde detailing the 1994 offensive. Copyright Joe Sacco.

Panels from Safe Area Gorazde. Copyright Joe Sacco.

I would absolutely recommend Safe Area Gorazde to anyone interested in learning about the Balkans War, the intersection of nationality and ethnicity, modern nation-building, and how international government organizations operate. It's a powerful book, a compelling memoir that Sacco shares with other individuals about a dark period in European/world history. Although dark and depressing, the story that Sacco tells does not stand for willful ignorance.